We can lay many things at the feet of the alt-right; dragging the word ‘cuck’ into common parlance is something I refuse to condemn them for. I love it.
Of course, to them, it’s about a different, equally dickheaded brand of ownership. Cuckservatives letting immigrants into ‘your’ country to have their way with ‘your’ dole while you kneel in the corner facing the wall. Doesn’t quite hold up to scrutiny, but the insult itself is a thing of wonder.
I love a good slur. This one is direct, personal, and like all good abuse it’s deeply, malevolently sexual. It speaks to the beast in you, it pokes it with a stick. You cannot hold that which you have. You are unworthy of it, and what is more, you know this and you give it up freely.
You fucking cuck.
Go on, say it out loud. Say it deadpan with this look of utter disdain on your face, then just tut and shake your head. Call the next person you see a cuck and tell me it isn’t hilarious. I’ll wait.
Satisfying, right? So now you want to start incorporating this life-changing word into your everyday insult vocabulary… but there’s a problem.
You’re not alt-right.
Maybe you don’t use the word ‘alleged’ before every time you use the word ‘holocaust.’ Maybe the idea of worshipping a frog-headed Egyptian god of darkness by strategically placing .jpgs around the internet seems a little far-fetched. Either way, it’s not going to fly and all seems lost.
Don’t worry. I’ve got you covered. Look at how even the sanest and most respectable leftie can take the enemy’s weapon away from him and return fire with cuckerrific glee!
The capitalist cuck
This one’s easy. Let’s bring it back to what a person can truly be said to own. You can’t own a spouse or a partner, they’re a fellow human being. You can’t own your country, it belongs to the people. To protect and support both your loved ones and society, however, you expend the workings of your mind and the sweat of your brow.
These things and these things alone are yours by sacred right. Everything else is bought with them, and to give them away freely is the most humbling personal sacrifice you can make.
So, imagine working eight hours of every day, plus travel time, to toil in a globe-spanning machine that milks you of your birthright. Living only to perform useless tasks and appease those above you in this endless chain of capital, contributing your mind and your body, precious days of your life, to making someone else rich.
And then you thank them. You smile at them, pluck up the temerity to look Sir in the eye and you say, ‘thank you for the opportunity.’
You vapid, dollar-blinkered cuck!
The racist cuck
In a mature multicultural society, race simply doesn’t equate to culture the way it did; we’ve had a black President, Fred Durst is the greatest rapper alive, and Nadiya won Bake Off. We’re all basically on at least a communicable wavelength.
Of course, there are always those who want us to keep fighting the same old battles. If you’re not careful, you can find yourself pandering to those manipulators, giving up your ability to judge a person on their merits. If you’re going to hate someone; find a reason and hate hard, but let it be a good reason.
But what of love? What greater pleasure exists? You can waste a lifetime chasing it, and it can pop up where and when you least expect it. Would you embrace it? Whether good companionship or carnal pleasure, would you seize upon love like you were born to, like a hound seizes upon the grouse?
Or, simply because you’ve been told (but never shown) that someone is your enemy, would you tremble at love’s outstretched hand? Would you shut yourself away from the warmth of sharing another human being’s laughter… or their body? Do you willingly forfeit that which is best in life, just because it may come in a strange and unfamiliar package?
You cowardly, simpering cuck!
The fascist cuck
Together, cries the fascist, we are stronger! Like twigs wilting before the storm, we bind together to form a proud… bundle of twigs. And you would do anything for your dear leader, wouldn’t you? You shackle yourself to the body politic, and whatever order you receive, you execute it. You carry it out as though it came from the sweet, moist, sense-talking lips of your Führer.
Except what happens when that man is a blithering fool? What happens to the chain when it’s rusted at the top? You would feed your life, the lives of your loved ones, into the furnace in the name of ‘following orders?’
Your obsession with control controls you. It cons and trolls you. You decide nothing for yourself. You do not do things. Your life is spent waiting for things to be done to you… and to your family.
While you sit in the corner and watch.
You goose-stepping, pimple-faced, chinless cuck!